Sex should be fun, but it can also be complicated. Welcome to Sexual Resolution , a biweekly column by sex therapist Vanessa Marin to answer your most confidential questions and help you achieve a healthy, joyful sex life. In this edition, she answers a reader who wants to have anal sex but whose partner has a big penis. She's nervous about the potential for pain, but Vanessa has some helpful tips. Have your own question? Ask it here.
I lost my ‘anal virginity’ to an ex-boyfriend.
As more couples explore this type of sex, understanding the risks, rewards, and proper strategy is important. According to the Centers for Disease Control CDC , anal sex is primarily growing in popularity with couples under age You might think of anal sex as anal penetration with a penis, but you have a few more options. Anal sex can also be performed with fingers or the tongue. Sex toys , like vibrators , dildos , and butt plugs , are used too. It just requires more planning, prep, and communication than some other forms of sexual activity.
Anal sex is becoming less of a taboo, but it can be a daunting idea and consent is essential. Once a taboo, anal sex is now seen as an enjoyable addition to many sexual relationships. So now your partner wants to give it a try. There seems to be a worrying trend within our society where some teenage boys are persuading girls into having anal sex without making consent a primary concern.
I am a twenty-four year old woman. Growing up in a conservative Muslim family, I was taught that anal sex was sinful and completely off-limits, even in the context of marriage. In my mind, this blanket prohibition gave the idea of anal intercourse a special erotic appeal. Once I reached adulthood and rejected the constraints of my religious upbringing, I became interested in actively exploring this aspect of my sexuality. For so long, it had been forbidden fruit. However, my first few experiences of anal intercourse were painful and unpleasant. While we were having doggy-style vaginal sex, he pulled out and then penetrated me anally without discussing his intentions first. Essentially, he took me by surprise. Although his penis was lubricated, the result was uncomfortable, stressful, and awkward. Unfortunately, research suggests my experience was far from unique.